I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Randomize
