I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
