Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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