Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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