if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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