they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
