C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
