I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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