Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
