The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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