I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
