Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
