My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
