Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
