:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
