I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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