My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
