a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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