she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
