hell yes lets make some ravioli
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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