Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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