That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
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i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
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What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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