im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
jump out the window naked night went bad
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
