when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
