she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize