It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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