we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
