saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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