Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
