i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
