i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
