Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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