Life is so much better after having sex.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
