the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
