Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize