I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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