NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
