She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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