I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just pynch a tree in the face
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize