I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
