I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
