My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
