I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The Olympian is in my bed
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