I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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