So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize