Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
