her vagine was all disorganized.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
