Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
