Me too!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
