you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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