Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
