I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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