I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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