Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize