dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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