We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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