Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
