It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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