i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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