Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
