nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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