i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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