dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
