So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My ass is underappreciated
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
