Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
