at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
